© icatchingfire

I like can’t get over that quote I posted earlier (and the accompanying article) like this was a thing that made me uncomfortable but I couldn’t quite verbalize it? Ahhh.

posted 1 week ago with 3 notes

"Something that happens to me sometimes with guys* is they do something I find hurtful, I calmly tell them so, they apologize, I thank them and accept, and then…they keep apologizing. And apologizing. And talking about how they feel like “such a jerk now” and how they really are a nice person who doesn’t usually do things like this and they’re really so sorry and I keep saying that it’s fine, they apologized already and I accepted and it’s okay as long as it doesn’t happen again and…they just. keep. apologizing.

And then it occurs to me that, even if they don’t realize it, they’re asking for something from me. They want reassurance. Fucking up feels bad, and I’m the one with the supposed power to make them feel like good people again. So the endless apologizing is meant to extract those sorts of caring behaviors from me–”No, really, I really like you as a person, I know you didn’t mean it”–and perhaps, eventually, capitulation–”It’s okay, really, it wasn’t even that big a deal, I probably shouldn’t have even said anything about it.”

As I said, this is probably unintentional/subconscious; people who do this probably think that they’re just making sure the other person really has forgiven them. But since it’s based around a temporary loss of self-esteem, the only thing that can end the cycle of apologizing is to be convinced that they really are a good person–perhaps because the thing they did wrong wasn’t even that bad of a thing to do.

And there’s plausible deniability there, too. But they feel so bad! But they’re just showing you how much they care that they messed up! But…maybe it was juuust a little bit kinda really mean of you to make them feel so bad! And on it goes. It feels wrong to ask that someone stop apologizing, even if it’s making you feel bad. I think we’re meant to take over-apologizing as a sign of extra concern, or perhaps as a compliment. But, as with surprisingly many social interactions, over-apologizing may be more about the apologizer’s needs and wants rather than those of the person being apologized to."  - Overapologizing and the Myth of Closure (via brutereason)

posted 1 week ago with 544 notes
- via brutereason

"Genie, I’m gonna miss you.”

"Me too Al. No matter what anybody says, you’ll always be a prince to me.”


O Captain! My Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:

But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
O Captain! My Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills;
For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;

Here captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head;
It is some dream that on the deck,
You’ve fallen cold and dead.
My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchor’d safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won;

Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

"  -

Walt Whitman, “O captain! My captain!” (via clothobuerocracy)

rest in peace, robin…

(via rufiozuko)

THE MAGIC BEGINS - Day 25: Favourite class

In my dream I found my Sephora tweezers, which have been missing for like six months, and I’m upset I can’t remember where I found them because maybe they’re really there :(.

posted 1 week ago with 2 notes


magic sleepover

posted 1 week ago with 2,929 notes
© bevsi - via lajacobine


Greeting your white friends

"TV Shae didn’t get to explain herself, like Book Shae did. TV Shae also went for a knife, which felt a bit like an attempt to “justify” Tyrion killing her. It all felt a bit off to me, even if it was gorgeously shot, and it leaves me a bit unclear on what Tyrion’s character arc will be going forward. […]

It’s safe to say that TV Tyrion is softer, kinder, and gentler than his book counterpart; we never really saw Peter Dinklage’s character trying to bed Sansa, and his King’s Landing scheming always read more shrewd than devious. Even the TV character’s appearance is easier to palate, though that’s at least partially because the showrunners didn’t want to hide Dinklage behind costly prosthetics or CGI. Hence Shae shooting first, as it were—I agree that this move seems like the show’s way of preventing Tyrion, who for all intents and purposes remains Thrones‘s central character, from becoming too unsavory. Given the increased attention put on Tyrion and Shae as a couple, though, I was a little disappointed that TV Shae didn’t get a chance to explain herself or sputter out so much as a word after she realized that Tyrion was standing before her. […] The murder, revamped to become less cold-blooded, is an attempt to [make Tyrion more sympathetic]."  - Entertainment Weekly (via joannalannister)